Marathon Drinkers - Tim's Column

There has been a feverish clamour for the return of my column. It was only ever intended to get us through the running challenge but who are we to deny our public?

A lot has happened since the challenge begun but we have made it to the end of Zone 1! Due to long-term closure for renovation, Queensway tube station has escaped us for now but we will return!

In the meantime, we cast our drinking net over Zone 2 - only a trifling 94 stations to knock off! So far in the challenge we have encountered 9 “royal” pubs, 4 pubs named after their nearest tube station and only one homosexual pub! We have travelled over 100 miles, spent a combined £326 on drink alone, and one in three of our outings are medically classed as binge drinking!

It’s business as usual for Zone 2, with just a minor modification to the rules, - Rule 3, amended to Rule 3(i) - the ex-Hog's Head chain and the newly discovered but moribund T&J Bernard chain join our list of no-go areas.

"Call me, call me by my name or call me by my number, you put me through it, I'll still be doing it the way I do it"... were the lyrics that carried me past the finishing line! Thanks Chesney! 26.2 miles of agony, joy and a deep personal battle of mind over body all rolled into one. There is no feeling like it! This was my 3rd London marathon and my 4th in total. I didn't quite make a Personal Best but I achieved my second goal of breaking the "mythical 4-hour mark". Sunday 17th April 2005 was a beautifully warm summer's day... particularly for spectators. For us runners the sun came as a shock given the bleak winter we had trained in. The course and landmarks never failed to humble and the crowds as usual were phenomenal. Strangers (who only 20 hours later would be jostling my aching body on the tube) gave up their Sunday morning to cheer, applaud and will that last drop of energy out of me. A special personal thanks to my girlfriend, family and friends who came out to support me. My PB remains intact and my body is starting the slow recovery process, but to quote the Official Marathon Finisher's T-shirt for this year; "Never again... until next time".

Well, I am sure that Abi Titmus would agree that two columns are better than one, so for this one occasion only, I have been invited to pen my own notes about Marathon day. After getting up at 6am to drive to Tottenham Hale to get to the start early, I was somewhat irritated to stand at London Bridge as 7 packed trains passed before I could even get to Blackheath! After an aborted effort to meet Tim, I got changed, dropped off my kit and joined the fast dwindling group of hippos, pensioners and other assorted "fun" runners as they made their way to the start line. I eventually got going just after 10am and it soon became clear that my tactic of starting from the back was going to pay dividends as I powered through the field, Michael-Schumacher-styley, back to my natural position at the head of the field...... the field of 10-minute milers that is! As my head slowly burnt to a beetroot-like crisp in the sun, I made excellent progress and before I knew it, I was talking to Reggie in Docklands. His spirits were good and he wondered if he could join in. It emerged afterwards that the wonder-dog had the uncanny instinct to "do a Paula" outside my work after I had passed, good boy! Anyway, after that boost I kept going nicely until I got to between miles 23 and 25. I didn't really "hit the wall" as much as expected, but Mile 23 went on for ever and ever, the respite being when I saw the 25 mile marker and realised I must have missed the 24 one! With only a short distance to go I popped on the mp3 player and raced home to the cheers of the crowd and a loop replay of "3 Lions" echoing in my ears (erm, not Chesney). I had fantastically enjoyed the day, not suffered TOO badly from the heat due to my realising that a world record was out of reach when I saw the weather that morning and running at a conservative pace. Amazingly my knees, foot arches, back and hamstring all held out after various collapses during the training period. My thanks go to the support team on the day of Rich, ZG, JMR, B, Chin and Reggie, all of whom helped me and special thanks to Tim, without who I certainly wouldn't have attempted this! Now the serious work gets going and it's Tim's round!

There are only days, minutes and hours left before the 2005 London Marathon. All those long, hard training runs in the cold and snow have helped us put literally hundreds of miles under our belts. Now it’s time for the real work to begin (once we get the marathon out of the way!).

JJ is physically falling apart and has resorted to shaving his knees to minimize the pain of removing his heavy-duty plasters and bandages after every run! I am faring slightly better but after 48 runs I find myself on my third pot of Vaseline! In a frugal effort to save beer money I decided to scour the Internet to seek discounted Vaseline. Preliminary searches directed me to sites such as “shopinprivate.com”! That was enough to send me scurrying back to my nearest Boots chemist, more than willing to cough up the full price! (All non-runners should be made aware that the application of Vaseline is a runner’s best friend in the fight against chaffing).

Welcome to the column that everyone wants a bit of. Since the last column we have really been putting the miles in as the marathon draws ever closer. The last of the long runs are complete, and the training now starts to “taper down” (if you can call over 25 miles a week tapering down!).

I recently ran the 16.2 miles of the Kingston Breakfast Run, and as the name suggests it starts far too early in the morning. It’s a real effort to get out of bed but there is a certain sense of achievement to know that it’s 10.30am on a Sunday morning and you have almost ran two thirds of a marathon! Added satisfaction came at the eleven mile mark when I went flying past Steven “5 times Gold Olympian” Redgrave. It is the second time I have overtaken him in a race and I guess he’s getting a bit sick of seeing my sorry ass speeding past him. Next on the radar is Gordon Ramsay…

JJ was unfortunately injured for this race but after an intensive course of deep tissue massages, cold compressions, stretching and acupuncture he should be fighting fit for the main event!

We have both well and truly stopped drinking alcohol now (15 days, 6 hours and 40 minutes) and I for one am getting a bit cranky. So thanks to you all for the support so far, we look forward to seeing you back at the bar in just a few weeks time.

This column starts with some bad news as the latest budget added one penny in tax to a pint. Let us do the math together on this one... with over 300 pubs on our challenge, that adds an extra £3 each in costs! The money has to come from somewhere and I fear there will be one less kebab house bidding us "adieu" as we stumble back towards the tube from whence we came.

On a more positive note the marathon is only one calendar month away. However, it’s getting more and more difficult to complete each run because the long training runs just keep on getting longer, the medium runs are now long and the short runs are no longer short! We are now averaging over 35 miles a week and the little aches and niggles are starting to kick in.

Following my first column lines I have received numerous emails telling me what I can do with my column entry. There have been some very interesting, challenging and ambitious suggestions although I'm afraid a few are simply downright unpleasant. But please keep them coming and keep revisiting our site, for you will see the fruits of your labour.

Until next time, run swiftly my friends.

Hello and welcome to my column! The first of a series of irregular and irreverent updates on our progress, the world of running, drinking and a lot more.

We are more than 10 weeks into the challenge and the end of part one is almost in sight, but the optimism is countered by the knowledge that nearly 200 miles lie between here and the finishing line.

The web site is starting to take off and we are now averaging a solid 4 hits a day! Excluding the one from myself, and the second from JJ, it’s pleasing to know that we are gaining around 14 converts a week! We have already engaged so many that if you lined them up side by side they would span the width of one whole Olympic sized swimming pool. Can you imagine that?

As for the drinking challenge, this is gathering speed too. Advice is flooding in fast, although I’m afraid we have had to start referring people back to the rules… they are there for a reason, so we ask you to review them before initiating all future correspondence.

I shall return for more chunterings, but for now, I shall leave you with some wise words that are helping us in our quest. They come from the yellow man of Springfield: “Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose... it's how drunk you get”.